We went to Jose's hometown of Huetamo, Michoacan last week for the first time, although unfortunately it was after we learned of his 20 year old cousins death. Rufino, his cousin, had lived in Healdsburg for a few years and was the only cousin Jose really knew from his father's side. Rufino's father has lived with Jose's family for years and is probably the closest relative Jose has outside of his immediate family. His uncle had sadly lost another son 8 years ago and is still dealing with his death. It was important to Jose that he supported his uncle, who left the United States to take care of his son's funeral, so we took a bus to Huetamo the day after I got back from my trip to the U.S.
The 6 hour bus trip took us through the city, farmland, pine forests, and finally Jose's hometown in the dry desert. Huetamo is surrounded by high peaks of rock, and the flat land outside of town is used for farming and cattle grazing. The landscape is surprisingly gray because there is little more than short gray trees, rocky soil, and dry grass.
While the three years Jose lived in Mexico were actually spent in Los Cuachalalates, a rancho 15 minutes from town, all but his most distant relatives have moved to Huetamo. We visited Los Cuachalalates and the abandoned house he lived in. As with most houses, there are only three full walls to the house, with one side being only a three foot partial wall. The area is so hot that houses would be unbearable without an open wall to allow air to circulate. Los Cuachalalates is a small village with few people, dirt roads, and mostly abandoned houses owned by the people who have left for town or the United States. It looks and feels like a town on its way to becoming a ghost town.
Huetamo is a thriving town of about 20,000 people. Some neighborhoods have paved roads, many houses are modern (some even have air conditioning), and the downtown is bustling. It strangely also has cows, horses, and chickens roaming the streets. Jose and I stayed with his uncle Israel, his wife, and their three children in a nice part of town. We met family from the Arzates (the family of Jose's paternal grandmother, who died when his father was young), Mederos, and Baltazar (Jose's mother's side). Most exciting for Jose was meeting his paternal grandfather for the first time. After growing up hearing negative things about his grandfather, and never speaking to him, Jose was surprised to find a grandfather who was interested in him, affectionate, and very kind. We spent hours each day with his grandfather, and Jose left Huetamo feeling like he had suddenly gained a new grandparent.
Jose had only met a few of his father's relatives before we went to Huetamo. He now knows his cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandfather, as well as his father's cousins, uncles, and aunts. He thought he didn't have any family left in Mexico, but it turns out there are a lot of people in Huetamo who consider him family. I can't even remember how many people told us to not return to Mexico City, and I think Jose would have agreed to stay for quiet awhile if we didn't have our dogs waiting for us. He is already talking about going down for a few weeks after I leave if he can find someone to watch the dogs. While we went down to Huetamo for a sad reason, it ended up being an amazing trip that Jose will never forget.
-Emma
Monday, June 21, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
In California
As soon as I started to get bored and restless, life speed up so fast that I can’t believe it is already so late in June. The first few days of this month were filled with packing, spending time with Anna, and getting ready to go back to California. Anna and I flew back on the 7th, and I spent a few days in Healdsburg with my parents. The beauty of my parents’ house and garden amazed me. Many times each day I walked through the house and all around the yard marveling at what they have created in the 10 years they’ve owned the property. It is truly a magnificent place to live.
I stayed at my aunt’s house in Oakland the night before my UC Berkeley orientation on the 10th. I spent days planning how I would get to her house, before I finally realized that I know how to drive and could do it alone. We went out to eat gluten-free pizza the night before orientation, walked the dog, and watched the season finale of Glee. I was so comfortable at her house and know that spending the summer there will be great.
Orientation was almost 12 hours long, and most of it was spent in an auditorium listening to presentations by students and campus staff. It got pretty boring, but I got to meet with my Social Welfare advisor, officially declare my major as Social Welfare, and register for my first 10 units. I lucked out and snatched suddenly open seats in two education classes and got first on the wait list for a Chicano Studies class. I had wanted to enroll in all three classes, but thought I didn’t have a chance because they were already full before orientation. While I was registering, I happened to look at them again and got into the education classes. I was really lucky, because when I checked again at the end of my registration period, there was already long wait lists for all the classes. In late July I get to register for the rest of my classes and finalize my schedule, but so far it’s looking really good!
No surprise, it was great to be back in California. Just like when I visited in February, I was struck by how suddenly comfortable and relaxed I am in my parents’ house. That house is definitely my true home. Jose was always on my mind, and I felt his absence every moment, which made being home a little bittersweet. The day he is in Healdsburg, in that house again, will be one of the best days of my life and the start of a really great time.
-Emma
I stayed at my aunt’s house in Oakland the night before my UC Berkeley orientation on the 10th. I spent days planning how I would get to her house, before I finally realized that I know how to drive and could do it alone. We went out to eat gluten-free pizza the night before orientation, walked the dog, and watched the season finale of Glee. I was so comfortable at her house and know that spending the summer there will be great.
Orientation was almost 12 hours long, and most of it was spent in an auditorium listening to presentations by students and campus staff. It got pretty boring, but I got to meet with my Social Welfare advisor, officially declare my major as Social Welfare, and register for my first 10 units. I lucked out and snatched suddenly open seats in two education classes and got first on the wait list for a Chicano Studies class. I had wanted to enroll in all three classes, but thought I didn’t have a chance because they were already full before orientation. While I was registering, I happened to look at them again and got into the education classes. I was really lucky, because when I checked again at the end of my registration period, there was already long wait lists for all the classes. In late July I get to register for the rest of my classes and finalize my schedule, but so far it’s looking really good!
No surprise, it was great to be back in California. Just like when I visited in February, I was struck by how suddenly comfortable and relaxed I am in my parents’ house. That house is definitely my true home. Jose was always on my mind, and I felt his absence every moment, which made being home a little bittersweet. The day he is in Healdsburg, in that house again, will be one of the best days of my life and the start of a really great time.
-Emma
Saturday, June 5, 2010
In Between
More than a month ago I found out I got into UC Berkeley. For two weeks it filled me with more excitement than I could handle, and it was enough to satisfy me completely. Now, however, its been long enough that just knowing I got in isn't enough to keep me from getting bored. I've looked up everything I possibly could on the Berkeley website, sent tons of paperwork, submitted a housing application, and made a class schedule. There is little to do now but start classes, and that's still a month away.
I'm flying back to California with Anna on June 7th for my school orientation on June 10th. There I will register for my fall classes, be officially accepted into the Social Welfare major, and get a ton of other information. I'm flying back to Mexico City after orientation to spend a few weeks with Jose before summer classes start, but I will be here during the World Cup, so I'm not sure how much of him I'll actually see. At least I'll see my dogs and have plenty of time to get started on the reading for my classes.
I have been so ready to start school that the last weeks have just seemed like an in-between time. I'm relieved that I don't feel hopeless like before, but I am so eager to start that I am impatient. I don't want to wish this time away, because soon I will wish that I could be with Jose, but I can't help wishing for it to speed up a little. I know that I will be busy; involved; and excited when school starts, and that sounds like an amazing way to be.
-Emma
I'm flying back to California with Anna on June 7th for my school orientation on June 10th. There I will register for my fall classes, be officially accepted into the Social Welfare major, and get a ton of other information. I'm flying back to Mexico City after orientation to spend a few weeks with Jose before summer classes start, but I will be here during the World Cup, so I'm not sure how much of him I'll actually see. At least I'll see my dogs and have plenty of time to get started on the reading for my classes.
I have been so ready to start school that the last weeks have just seemed like an in-between time. I'm relieved that I don't feel hopeless like before, but I am so eager to start that I am impatient. I don't want to wish this time away, because soon I will wish that I could be with Jose, but I can't help wishing for it to speed up a little. I know that I will be busy; involved; and excited when school starts, and that sounds like an amazing way to be.
-Emma
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Quiet Time
We´ve had a busy two weeks with my mom and aunt visiting. My mom got awful headaches from the first day because of the dust and pollen in the air. She wasn´t able to go out much, but we did make it to Frida Kahlo´s house one day. It was my first time going to the ¨Blue House.¨ It was beautiful, but most of the house is set up to display Frida´s artwork and I was hoping to get a better sense of how she lived in it. Beautiful houses not used as houses always make me sad.
My mom left after just a week because her headaches kept getting worse. It was definitely a good choice though. When I called her on her first day back in California she sounded like herself again, and here she was absolutely miserable. My dad has put off visiting so that he can stay with my mom.
Spending time with my aunt was amazing. We spent mornings knitting under her expert guidance, visited knitting shops, ate at an amazing restaurant in Coyoacan, visited the Zocalo, Templo Mayor, the Ex-Convent, and Xochimilco. Each day was relaxing but we managed to see and do a lot. We had great meals at home and enjoyed Jose`s popcorn in the evenings. It was a really great visit, and I started missing her the second we left the airport this morning.
Since I`ll be leaving in just over a month for school, having the apartment to ourselves again is nice. I`m looking forward to spending a lot of good quality time with Jose. My excitement hasn`t faded at all, but the reality of how hard and lonely it will be is starting to hit me. Waves of panic are making me freeze when I imagine just how difficult that part of going back to school will be. In order to have one last month of happiness, I plan on lots of movies, ice cream dates, and Mexico City adventures. We are even planning on taking a little trip to nearby Cuernavaca or Queretaro for a couple nights. Being apart from Jose and my dogs is worth everything that will come from me having my degree, and I`m hoping that a happy and romantic last month will make the separation a little easier.
-Emma
My mom left after just a week because her headaches kept getting worse. It was definitely a good choice though. When I called her on her first day back in California she sounded like herself again, and here she was absolutely miserable. My dad has put off visiting so that he can stay with my mom.
Spending time with my aunt was amazing. We spent mornings knitting under her expert guidance, visited knitting shops, ate at an amazing restaurant in Coyoacan, visited the Zocalo, Templo Mayor, the Ex-Convent, and Xochimilco. Each day was relaxing but we managed to see and do a lot. We had great meals at home and enjoyed Jose`s popcorn in the evenings. It was a really great visit, and I started missing her the second we left the airport this morning.
Since I`ll be leaving in just over a month for school, having the apartment to ourselves again is nice. I`m looking forward to spending a lot of good quality time with Jose. My excitement hasn`t faded at all, but the reality of how hard and lonely it will be is starting to hit me. Waves of panic are making me freeze when I imagine just how difficult that part of going back to school will be. In order to have one last month of happiness, I plan on lots of movies, ice cream dates, and Mexico City adventures. We are even planning on taking a little trip to nearby Cuernavaca or Queretaro for a couple nights. Being apart from Jose and my dogs is worth everything that will come from me having my degree, and I`m hoping that a happy and romantic last month will make the separation a little easier.
-Emma
Monday, May 10, 2010
Spanish
People often ask what language we speak at home, and then don't understand when I tell them its English. They give me a look like I'm the most foolish person in the world. For awhile I didn't really know why we speak English. We tried in the beginning to always speak Spanish, but it would never stick. One day I really thought about why we speak English at home, and for me the reason is perfectly understandable.
Since last October we have been facing the fact that our life has changed drastically. It wasn't something that we were prepared for, chose, or wanted. The hardest part was living in a foreign country that we had never been to without the option of coming home when we wanted. We had so many goals and dreams in the U.S., and some, like graduating from college, were just about to happen. Then, we were told we had to wait three years and our dreams had to wait three years too.
The life we had and wanted was in the U.S., and options in Mexico didn't allow us to recreate that life here. Our family, friends, work, school, and culture were all left behind, and in Mexico we found ourselves with very little. We became lonely, depressed, angry, and sad.
In December we were happy to get our own apartment, although it was in a bad area and very basic (you may remember the no-hot-water-ever issue or the hassle of no indoor sink). We worked hard to fix it up and set it up nicely, but it didn't feel like home at all. We spent most of our time inside because the neighborhood was so bad and it always felt like we were just waiting. Waiting for things to get better, waiting for the three years to pass so we could go back to the U.S. Time passed so slowly.
What we longed for more than anything was to be home with our families. We dreamed of our blue bedroom, the cozy livingroom, and family dinners. While stuck in the apartment, we remembered strolling through beautiful and safe Healdsburg and seeing all the familiar sights. We wanted a sense of home but coudn't get it.
Speaking English was the only thing that was like home. In the United States we spoke English with each other and most of our family. When we spoke English in our apartment in Mexico, it was like a little piece of home. Inside our walls we were protected by everything that was outside and English helped us forget we where we were. We listened to English music, watched English TV, read English books, and always spoke in English. With so much English surrounding us it was easier to feel at home and take a break from all the sadness and shock that filled us. I'm sure the comfort of hearing one's native language can never be truly understood until the sense of home is taken and longed for.
I know living in Mexico is a great way to learn Spanish and people think we are giving up a great opportunity. If we had chosen to live here and were excited about it, I'm sure that we would try to speak Spanish at home and learn everything we could. We aren't that situation, though, and we have had more important things to learn than Spanish, such as moving on from our losses, building a life, and finding happiness. I'm sure that as things get better, Spanish will be spoken more, but until then I am perfectly happy speaking English in Mexico.
-Emma
Since last October we have been facing the fact that our life has changed drastically. It wasn't something that we were prepared for, chose, or wanted. The hardest part was living in a foreign country that we had never been to without the option of coming home when we wanted. We had so many goals and dreams in the U.S., and some, like graduating from college, were just about to happen. Then, we were told we had to wait three years and our dreams had to wait three years too.
The life we had and wanted was in the U.S., and options in Mexico didn't allow us to recreate that life here. Our family, friends, work, school, and culture were all left behind, and in Mexico we found ourselves with very little. We became lonely, depressed, angry, and sad.
In December we were happy to get our own apartment, although it was in a bad area and very basic (you may remember the no-hot-water-ever issue or the hassle of no indoor sink). We worked hard to fix it up and set it up nicely, but it didn't feel like home at all. We spent most of our time inside because the neighborhood was so bad and it always felt like we were just waiting. Waiting for things to get better, waiting for the three years to pass so we could go back to the U.S. Time passed so slowly.
What we longed for more than anything was to be home with our families. We dreamed of our blue bedroom, the cozy livingroom, and family dinners. While stuck in the apartment, we remembered strolling through beautiful and safe Healdsburg and seeing all the familiar sights. We wanted a sense of home but coudn't get it.
Speaking English was the only thing that was like home. In the United States we spoke English with each other and most of our family. When we spoke English in our apartment in Mexico, it was like a little piece of home. Inside our walls we were protected by everything that was outside and English helped us forget we where we were. We listened to English music, watched English TV, read English books, and always spoke in English. With so much English surrounding us it was easier to feel at home and take a break from all the sadness and shock that filled us. I'm sure the comfort of hearing one's native language can never be truly understood until the sense of home is taken and longed for.
I know living in Mexico is a great way to learn Spanish and people think we are giving up a great opportunity. If we had chosen to live here and were excited about it, I'm sure that we would try to speak Spanish at home and learn everything we could. We aren't that situation, though, and we have had more important things to learn than Spanish, such as moving on from our losses, building a life, and finding happiness. I'm sure that as things get better, Spanish will be spoken more, but until then I am perfectly happy speaking English in Mexico.
-Emma
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Lots of Visitors
We are going to have a full month of visitors. My mother is arriving tonight, my aunt on Saturday, and then my father at the end of the month. Since my mom hasn't been able to work lately, she is going to be able to stay down here for awhile. My aunt will be here for 11 days, and my dad for over a week. We will have lots to do with everyone here and I'm sure the month will fly by.
My mother just decided yesterday to come down. Its very last minute, but there was a cheap plane ticket and she really wanted to come. It is perfect timing because Jose is in Acapulco for the week so Anna, my mom, and I will have a few days alone. It will be nice to have mother-daughter time and be able to really catch up before Jose comes back.
In Coyoacan, we are going to visit many parks, Hernan Cortes' palace, the ex-convent where Mexico fought Americans and French, Leon Trotsky's house, Frida Kahlo's house, and the plazas. Everything is a short walk from our apartment, so we will spend many relaxing strolling through Coyoacan. I think that everyone will enjoy the park where we take the dogs. It really is one of the most beautiful parks I have ever been too. In other parts of Mexico City, we are going to visit the Zocalo, pyramids, the Latinamerican Tower that has a great view of the city, and Xochimilco.
I'm leaving for UC Berkeley's summer semester at the end of June, so Jose and I will have just a month together after all the visits. With this month flying by with my family and sightseeing in Mexico City, and then one last month with Jose, I'll be back in California and in school before I know it.
-Emma
My mother just decided yesterday to come down. Its very last minute, but there was a cheap plane ticket and she really wanted to come. It is perfect timing because Jose is in Acapulco for the week so Anna, my mom, and I will have a few days alone. It will be nice to have mother-daughter time and be able to really catch up before Jose comes back.
In Coyoacan, we are going to visit many parks, Hernan Cortes' palace, the ex-convent where Mexico fought Americans and French, Leon Trotsky's house, Frida Kahlo's house, and the plazas. Everything is a short walk from our apartment, so we will spend many relaxing strolling through Coyoacan. I think that everyone will enjoy the park where we take the dogs. It really is one of the most beautiful parks I have ever been too. In other parts of Mexico City, we are going to visit the Zocalo, pyramids, the Latinamerican Tower that has a great view of the city, and Xochimilco.
I'm leaving for UC Berkeley's summer semester at the end of June, so Jose and I will have just a month together after all the visits. With this month flying by with my family and sightseeing in Mexico City, and then one last month with Jose, I'll be back in California and in school before I know it.
-Emma
Monday, May 3, 2010
Big Changes!
I didn't want to say anything before, because I doubted it would happen, but it has - I got into UC Berkeley (my dream school) for Fall 2010!
I'm going to major in Social Welfare and focus on immigration, education, and Latinos. I hope to someday work for providing better educational opportunities for immigrations. The education I will get from Berkeley will prepare me extremely well for what I want to do.
Its really exciting, but of course Jose can't come back with me. Its going to be hard for both of us, and I'll really miss Mexico City, but I am going to go back and he is going to stay here. Luckily we have Skype so we'll be able to talk and see each other. I'll come back for all vacation breaks and some long weekends when breaks are far apart.
I got a whole bunch of financial aid so it will cost very little. Luckily, I have amazingly supportive parents who are going to take care of whatever isn't covered so I can just focus on school and graduate as soon as possible to get back to Jose.
I had been going crazy for months because I thought I had nothing to do. The options in Mexico were lousy, so I was considering going back to the U.S. for 6 months to work and save up some money for Jose and I. But of course, leaving him just to work a low paying job wasn't exciting. I applied to UC Berkeley in October, but never thought I had any chance of getting in so I didn't even really consider going to school an option.
I am so happy now. I'm excited about going to such a great school to learn about something I am really passionate about. I will have my degree before Jose can even start the immigration process again, so by the time he returns to the U.S. I will be able to work and support us comfortably while he finishes school. This is good for me now, because I really need to do something to make me feel more worthy and fulfilled, and it will be good for our future. One of us having a degree will make things so much easier.
I am going to start during the summer semester. I'm flying back to California at the end of June for orientation and then classes start on July 6th. When classes are over on August 13th, I'm going to fly back to Mexico City for 10 days before the Fall Semester starts.
Life is good! Hard, but good.
-Emma
I'm going to major in Social Welfare and focus on immigration, education, and Latinos. I hope to someday work for providing better educational opportunities for immigrations. The education I will get from Berkeley will prepare me extremely well for what I want to do.
Its really exciting, but of course Jose can't come back with me. Its going to be hard for both of us, and I'll really miss Mexico City, but I am going to go back and he is going to stay here. Luckily we have Skype so we'll be able to talk and see each other. I'll come back for all vacation breaks and some long weekends when breaks are far apart.
I got a whole bunch of financial aid so it will cost very little. Luckily, I have amazingly supportive parents who are going to take care of whatever isn't covered so I can just focus on school and graduate as soon as possible to get back to Jose.
I had been going crazy for months because I thought I had nothing to do. The options in Mexico were lousy, so I was considering going back to the U.S. for 6 months to work and save up some money for Jose and I. But of course, leaving him just to work a low paying job wasn't exciting. I applied to UC Berkeley in October, but never thought I had any chance of getting in so I didn't even really consider going to school an option.
I am so happy now. I'm excited about going to such a great school to learn about something I am really passionate about. I will have my degree before Jose can even start the immigration process again, so by the time he returns to the U.S. I will be able to work and support us comfortably while he finishes school. This is good for me now, because I really need to do something to make me feel more worthy and fulfilled, and it will be good for our future. One of us having a degree will make things so much easier.
I am going to start during the summer semester. I'm flying back to California at the end of June for orientation and then classes start on July 6th. When classes are over on August 13th, I'm going to fly back to Mexico City for 10 days before the Fall Semester starts.
Life is good! Hard, but good.
-Emma
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